Nicole Richie doing an commercial for Pantene

Ha ha haa, today I stumbled upon this very funny video at YouTube. It is Nicole Richie doing an commercial for Pantene or is she?

Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qq820ZQVxQ

Alternative to Blackberry device?

Today I was joking around with my kid brother and we came up wit following thing to think about:

- Who is in your opinion an average user of a Blackberry device?

- I would say it is an white middle aged man, working in some office.

- So what would you label a similar device but what is marketed to unemployed black women?

- A Whiteberry perhaps.

The story behind Microsoft Paint

If you ever wanted to "meet" the people who did create MS Paint here is your chance.

This 3 minute video clip shows you short interview with the masterminds behind this globally used product.

Some more funny one liners

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I Do" is the longest sentence?

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Stalking is.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

What a cruel idea it was to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide ... is it considered a hostage situation?

Funny oneliners

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Have you been to Wal-Mart lately? You have to be 300 pounds to get the automatic doors to open.

Why do you press harder on the buttons when the battery in the remote control is dead?

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.

Take everything in moderation. Including moderation.

There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.

Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps.

Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow.
Just go over there somewhere, please?

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

If at first you don't succeed, try left field.

Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.

I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me.

If #2 pencils are the most popular, are they still #2?

Spam in Russian :)

Today I got funny spam in Russian social networking site Limpa.ru.

The reason this is so funny is that the message is obviously originally in English, but the content is written with Russian letters. The spammer probably used by mistake in the site "LAT-2-RUS" encoder. :)

PRICELESS!!!

чристиана_фумбаа@ыахоо.цо.ук
Хелло деар,
Мы наме ис мисс чристиана и висите ыоур профиле тодаы анд и финд оут тхат ыоу аре тхе тыпе тхат суит мы хеарт, щхич ам сеекинг фор, И хопе анд белиеве ще щилл щалк ит оут фор хеарт десиер, лет цоме оут фор сометхинг гоод фор оур лове, и белиеве сомеоне щитх гоод зеал, сомеоне щхо кнощс щхат ис лове анд ыоу аре мы тыпе,( Ремембер тхе дистанце ор цолоур доес нот маттер бут лове маттерс а лот ин лифе) щхен реплыинг цонтацт ме тхроугх мы е-маил адддресс (чристиана_фумбаа@ыахоо.цо.ук) со тхат и щилл гиве ыоу мы пицтуре фор ыоу то кнощ ме беттер,Год блесс ыоу ас и щаит то хеар фром ыоу соон.
Ыоурс лове
чристиана

One liners

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Good guys are like public bathrooms, either full of crap or taken.

I like my women how I like my coffee, hot, strong and on the kitchen table.

I used to be an atheist, but then I realized I'm God.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

I'm a drunk, not an alcoholic. I don't go to those meetings.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Nice cure for severe headaches

A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies.

"I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and ..."

He is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear."

"Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"

"Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from the same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Everyday I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that everyday for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes".

Two weeks go by and the man comes back and says, "Well, how do you feel?"

"Doc, I'm a new man! I feel great! I haven't had a headache since I started this treatment! I can't thank you enough. And by the way... you have a lovely home."

How to throw up?

If you really need to make yourself throw up, try sticking one finger down your throat and another up your ass at the same time.

If that doesn't work, try switching fingers!